“Our parents, our children, our spouses,
and our friends will continue to press every button we have, until we realize what it is that we don't want to know about ourselves, yet.
They will point us to our freedom every time.”
― Byron Katie
I help people go from struggle to clarity in their relationships to be able to move forward with self-trust & confidence.
The three most common relationships that people come to me for help with are:
1) parenting (including co-parenting and support for your child's struggles)
2) romantic (including ex's & current relationships)
3) self-relationship (including self-confidence, anxiety & depression)
4) family (including with parents, siblings, in-laws)
Every relationship in our lives is here as a mirror of ourselves--of how we see life. And ourselves. This is a good thing, although until we understand how to work with it, it can be a really painful, confusing thing.
It is so helpful to have others reflect back to us our deeply held beliefs so that we have what we need to guide us into a deep awareness of who we actually are and what is blocking us from living a more expansive, joy-filled life, on-purpose life.
So, delving into our relationships is about so much more than the relationships themselves. It is just the most helpful starting point. In the end, our improved relationships are just icing on the cake.
Bring your frustrations, your anger, your sadness, guilt, and confusion over your relationships and transmute it to peace, understanding, joy, and clarity.
Get crystal clear on what you are wanting and what your life situation is calling for, how to proceed/what steps to take next, how to allow your biggest dreams into your life, what stops you, and how to be in close relationship with the people in your life, including yourself.
This is all available through self-inquiry
Be a happy parent, raise a happy child
Our children are our teachers, by design.
You might think that something is going wrong if they are not happy or you are not happy. But in truth, each situation is a gift for you when you inquire into it: it shows you where you're attached to beliefs that aren't working for you and allows them to fall away.
If you are struggling in any capacity in your role as a parent (this includes parents of adult children), I can help you.
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Your child is struggling in some way (with school, with friends, etc.) and you don't know how to support them
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You are unhappy with an aspect of their behaviour and try as you might, you can't seem to change it nor stop yourself from being triggered by it. This leaves you feeling frustrated or even furious, and then maybe feeling terribly guilty.
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You're overwhelmed with parenthood and find yourself resenting your child at times. Or you just don't feel that close with your child and don't know how to connect with them on a deeper level.
If it is important to you to be the best parent you can be and you feel you are falling short of that, then you're in the right place.
I know what it's like to feel down on yourself and also how to find out what's really going on for you so that you can show up differently.
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I also know what it's like to want your child to feel happier in the difficult circumstances they are in but not knowing how to facilitate that.
Thrive in your romantic relationship
Want the fairy tale but aren't finding it?
Or you found it but can't sustain it?
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This relationship is often the one that can cause the most pain & confusion. You want to be happy and not annoyed about the little things but you can't seem to be. (Or maybe they are BIG things.)
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Or maybe your relationship has dissolved and you are left heartbroken, trying to find yourself again.
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Or you're trying to navigate co-parenting with a person you're no longer with. That can be a sheer nightmare (it sure was for me ...)
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There are so many configurations that can really challenge us.
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What I can tell you, is that it is all changeable.
In fact, each & every situation that arises is the very situation you need in order to get free. (Free of what?? ... free of the conditioning that has kept you in a small, false identity and the limiting beliefs that go along with that.)
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Think of the things that you think are "going wrong" as the very tailor-made doorways designed specifically for you into a life of greater awareness, freedom, and bliss. It just takes a little inquiry ...
“How do you react when you think you need people's love? Do you become a slave for their approval?
Do you live an inauthentic life because you can't bear the thought that they might disapprove of you?
Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon?
In fact, you never really get their love. You turn into someone you aren't, and then when they say "I love you," you can't believe it, because they're loving a facade. They're loving someone who doesn't even exist, the person you're pretending to be. It's difficult to seek other people's love. It's deadly. In seeking it, you lose what is genuine.
This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.”
― Byron Katie
Finding Self-Love
For some of us, somewhere along the way we became really hard on ourselves. We notice, too, that we don't feel good about who we are. It's a horrible feeling, I know.
You might really struggle with emotions like shame and can find yourself experiencing anxiety and depression.
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You wish you had the confidence and self-esteem you see other people displaying. ("How are they even doing life?" you may wonder,"It's so hard!")
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You might have bounced around in some self-help/self-improvement techniques & books but found that you have become an endless project that you are "working on" and in the meantime, not feeling any better about who you are.
In fact, you feel worse.
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I know all of this intimately. (You can read a bit about it in my story.) It is a painful way to be in relationship with ourselves.
The good news is that any & all of these negative feelings actually are telling you something incredibly important: they are telling you you are wrong about how you are seeing yourself. That's what our emotions are for: to let us know when we are adopting a false identity.
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Together, we use all of your beliefs about yourself as a gateway to the deepest truth about who you are that is expansive, beautiful, and fearless. It is something to be experienced, not believed. You will get to know unequivocally.
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So if you are exhausted by your self-story -- tired of feeling like you aren't good enough -- then you are in the best place. Welcome.
“You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer.”
~Byron Katie
I identify as having struggled with the symptoms of a “Borderline Personality Disorder” that developed from an early age as I processed a series of difficult events that have happened in my life. It’s very hard for me to let things go that trigger me and remind me of that early suffering.
I’ve tried countless therapies and medications to bring me relief from the pain of it. I’m sure those methods have all helped me to get to where I am today and in feeling a sense of reprieve from the pain, however, in the past 3 months since working with Dr. Jefferies, I have been able to find a release from that anguish in ways I had never thought possible. It’s been so liberating.
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~Sarah Gelbloom, Owner Sarahannedipity